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I think the reason I — and many fat women I know — have encountered a plethora of dudes ashamed of admitting their attraction to us is because they don't believe they are allowed to do so without being ridiculed.

This means that fat people grow up thinking their bodies are wrong, broken, ugly, and totally-not-sexy, while those attracted to fat bodies (regardless of their own body type) grow up thinking they are broken for being attracted to them.

And so I cannot help but feel that the problem some folks are having isn't with the over-sexualization of fat people, and specifically fat women.

But rather, with the sexualization of a group of people we're not used to being told are, in fact, sexual beings (unless they're being branded as "promiscuous" or "desperate," that is).

Critique around it often seems to stem from the notion that men are the only ones with "fetishes," (a word with negative connotations, but that I personally define as "preferences" or "sexuality"), and so women involved in fetishism of any kind must only be doing it for men.

But perpetuating as much only removes the autonomy of the many women who feel empowered by self-describing as a BBW.

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