I admit, I’ve used this method, but I’m also very indecisive when it comes to picking restaurants.Plus, it can also be a marker of their own taste and interests while giving you common ground and a comfortable atmosphere. “That’s giving him the lead to be masculine enough to pick it himself,” she added. ‘This is awesome.’ ‘You are so smart.’ You reward them—I’m sorry if this offends some men—like a dog.”Emily: I agree that there is nothing wrong with flirty hints about what you like, but this seemed extremely offensive to both sexes. If someone suggested you do anything to train a woman “like a dog,” the audience (I hope) would have been up in arms. Treating them like they need to be coaxed and taught like adorable Golden Retrievers is demeaning.It also played to the larger undercurrent of the evening’s advice: women shouldn’t express their thoughts, feelings, and intentions outright.It reminded me of an adage I’ve heard in various forms: A smart woman never let’s a man know how smart she is.We arrived at the Angelika Theater with hope that the we each shelled out to attend the Great Love Debate would pay off in some helpful dating advice—or at least funny commiseration with other singles.
Another lovely moment with Young was when he called out a man in the audience for being a virgin.One of the female panelists, matchmaker Jennifer Miotke, also seemed to believe in the same terms as Young and Howie.She said that women need to “tell them [men] what they need to make you happy.” She used setting up a date as an example: tell the guy that you “love Thai and that these are some of my favorite restaurants,” but then allow him to pick.“[With] the vulnerable side of you, which I believe is the much more lovable side for both men and women, you can step into a situation and not feel the need to take over but to say something forthcoming about yourself.”Then, she closed out the event with the only useful and positive takeaway: “You are looking for someone wonderful and who makes you happy.If you carry that with you and share that with someone every day, you will be the most wonderful matchmaker for yourselves and I think you will find love.”Emily: Wolman was a saving grace with nuanced, modern wisdom.