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Most importantly on a Friday night, she was a straight woman in gay bar who wasn’t playing the I’m-such-a-fabulous-fag-hag card while taking up way more space than necessary. I have a theory about white women and black men, and it goes a little something like this.

And her high praise included black women — that underdog demo that, Beyoncé aside, is often overlooked by whites with a down-with-blacks sexual agenda. I can’t recall ever previously having had a conversation with a white woman who dates black men about dating black men.

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One of the first things she told me was how attractive she finds black men. In fact, although she complimented my biceps, she made no direct comment on my looks — unless you consider a compliment about “black men” in general a direct compliment to each one of us. This season on Hilary Duff’s Kelsey is in a lust triangle with a white political podcaster and a colleague who happens to be a man of color, and the interracial romance between the characters played by Allison Williams and Daniel Kaluuya was the crux of last year’s Oscar-nominated smash .

She had absolutely no ulterior motive and no shot with me. I hate any kind of exclusive or discriminatory thinking when it comes to race and sex, even when it works in my favor. But in reality as well as on TV and in movies, the highest-profile interracial couples have been white women with black men.

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