Accomodating family who was tupac dating at the time of his death
So, to provide one quick example, say a husband has exhibited chronic problems with anger.
He came from a family where yelling and screaming was the norm, and consequently it became “normalized” for him.
In such cases, where there’s a values clash, and neither party is willing to surrender to the other’s authority, my goal as therapist would be to help them locate what might be called a they can agree on.
In this particular example, I’d review with them the most up-to-date literature on the subject.
And also that he’d be a lot happier if he could deal with his frustration in ways other than flying off the handle and intimidating, or alienating, those around him.
Over the years, I’ve seen many couples that entered counseling, because they could no longer tolerate their differences.
Whether they were still openly confronting their conflicts or merely trying to keep the peace, the friction between them not only had endured, but had grown worse.
(And here, see my "Compromise Made Simple: 7 Handy Tips for Couples.") So, for instance, if one party was raised in a particular manner — was, in a sense, “programmed” that way — they may be adamant that their children be brought up by the same rules.
So if they concluded that the corporal punishment they received was ultimately beneficial to them, that this was how they learned right from wrong, they may get into endless marital debates if their partner holds strong beliefs any sort of physical discipline.